flotation device 18

I started making Flotation Device in 1998 and I did it frequently and regularly for a while. Then for a while I didn’t make it at all and I thought I was done making them. But then I started up and I realized that I had only been on a super slow and sometimes irregular schedule. And now, here is the 18th issue. Which seems both crazy and totally normal at the same time. Making zines is just something I do at this point. Although I struggle with, like, who do I make them for? Why do I make them? Etc.

Flotation Device 18 is a (hopefully not too) heavy times zine about my grieving process for my friend Alex who died a year and a half ago now. It’s a collection of the thoughts I had and feelings/sensations I felt during that first year and some stray memories of him that live in me. There’s also some random detritus that made sense to include at the end. Ephemera!

I’ve decided I’m pretty much done selling things, although I will take some of these to Quimby’s for olde tymes sake. I’m in a position where I can not participate in capitalism in this tiny infinitesimal way. I don’t need to sell things, so why bother. Which means if you’d like a copy of this zine, just send me an email and say so. I’ll send you one for free. I’m happy if someone reads it.

reading watching listening



Half Witch – John Schoffstall
The Habits of Foxes and Strange Ghosts – Kat Philbin
Water Logic and Air Logic – Laurie J. Marks
Feminist Antifascism: Counter-publics of the Common – Ewa Majewska
Piranesi – Susanna Clarke
The Nutmeg’s Curse – Amitav Ghosh
The Fifth Season, The Obelisk Gate, and The Stone Sky – N.K. Jemisin
The Actual Star – Monica Byrne
Terminal Boredom – Izumi Suzuki
Iggy & the Stooges On Stage 1967-1974 – Per Nilsen
Chicago, comics and life: 1999-2012 – Anders Nilsen
No Time To Spare – Ursula K. Le Guin


Jean-Michel Basquiat: The Radiant Child – Tamra Davis
Star Trek Lower Decks
Trances – Ahmed El Maanouni
Dry Wood – Les Blank
Forza Bastia – Jacques Tati and Sophie Tatischeff
Hedwig and the Angry Inch – John Cameron Mitchell
It’s Such a Beautiful Day – Don Hertzfeldt
La Pointe Courte – Agnes Varda
Only Lovers Left Alive – Jim Jarmusch
Doctor X – Michael Curtiz
Stage Door – Gregory La Cava
Valerie and Her Week of Wonders – Jaromil Jires
Black Moon – Louis Malle
Blood and Black Lace – Mario Bava
Ceiling – Vera Chytilova
Deep Blues – Robert Mugge
Taste the Blood of Dracula – Peter Sasdy
Eye of the Devil – J. Lee Thompson
Zombies – Baloji
The Fate of Lee Khan – King Hu
Spider Baby – Jack Hill
It’s a Jackie Thing – Charles Atlas
Melody Set Me Free – Kalup Linzy
Tally Brown, New York – Rosa von Praunheim
Black Lizard – Umetsugu Inoue
Sword of the Beast – Hideo Gosha
Cassandro el Exotico – Marie Losier
Burst City – Gakuryu Ishii
The Hidden Fortress – Akira Kurusawa
Kids in the Hall
Bizarre Foods America
Star Wars The Clone Wars
The French Dispatch – Wes Anderson
Lydia Lunch: The War is Never Over – Beth B
Tord and Tord, Bath House, The Burden, Something To Remember – Niki Lindroth von Bahr
Edward II – Derek Jarman
Star Trek Lower Decks
Star Trek Discovery
Rock and Roll High School
Spiderman Far From Home
Star Wars Clone Wars
The Book Of Boba Fett
Princess Mononoke – Hayao Miyazaki
Kuroneko – Kaneto Shindo
The Woodmans – C Scott Willis


CHRY-PTUS – Eliane Radigue
Tough! – Art Blakey
Ancestor Boy – Lafawndah
Khonnar and Dhakar – Deena Abdelwahed
New Growth and Don’t Get It Twisted – Delores Galore
Human Dance – Yuvees
Nude Descending – Versing
Girlish – Gal Pal
What Kind Of Dream – Secret Superpower
The High Priestess – Rita J
LDOLS and Crowd Control Vol. 2 Loula Yorke
La Luz – La Luz
Signals In My Head – DJ Manny
Nation Time – Joe McPhee
Air – Cecil Taylor Quartet
La ultima rave del mundo – Pozole666
Black Origami – Jlin
Chansons d’ennui – Jarvis Cocker
Porto Novo – Marion Brown
Nation Time – Joe McPhee
Air Cecil Taylor Quartet

summer 2021

July 15, 2021

Of a sudden – a downpour afternoon

A white heron stands fishing near the shore
the geese in the pond across the green swim
and shake the rain from their feathers
five small white birds fly above the heron’s pond
occasionally diving in to catch aquatic creatures

A roll of thunder
and the geese honk and hop out of their pond to sit on the green grass
sheets give way to drops
the sizzle hiss becomes staccato beats

The veil lifts incrementally and distant trees reemerge
in the grass a frog sings low

I sit on the porch and read about a young trans  girl
fighting to exist in North Carolina

July 18, 2021

A scalded tongue
fields and wind break trees
A landscape of repetition
you reveal yourself in layers

July 20, 2021

Sitting in the silence of night
a yellow moon
airplanes, cars,
the cat’s water fountain in the kitchen

Straining my ears for crickets,
other insects of the summer night

but only silence

It could be winter
but for the open window

August 7, 2021

Reading a book in the morning
Observing the rotation of the earth
as sunlight spreading
across the page

August 24, 2021


Warmth. Mellow depth appreciation. Smoothness of voice.
Third shift small town rave-up.
Cleaning an apartment bathroom, sun pouring through window.
Mexico is imminent.

Jazz chords and beats. Internal summer dance parties.
Recycled from an early millennium crushed out mix-tape.


Ascending drama. A cavern. Night.
Golden slink opulence. A queen rather than lizard king.
Head nods. The nineties dream spanning decades.
Ecstatic pop. A smear of sound.

Canopied optimism.
New and old anthems.

September 19, 2021

the moon
behind clouds
dark trees silhouette
against night sky


reading watching listening



An Unkindness of Ghosts – Rivers Solomon
Best Show Ever – Alyssa Giannini, editor
The Star Fish – Martha Grover
Grapefruit – Yoko Ono
Phases of the Moon 5 and 6 – Stacey-Marie Piotrowski
The Heart of the Universe – Mu Soeng
When I Arrived at the Castle – Emily Carroll
All-Star Superman – Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely
Monk – Youssef Daoudi
The Beginning Place – Ursula K. Le Guin
Awesome Things #3 and Caboose #13 – Liz Mason
How to Survive the Portland Winter and Somnambulist #26 – Martha Grover
Sir, Is This Love? – Liz Yerby
is stronger than death – Sharon McKellar
Ker-Bloom! 149, 150, and 151 – Artnoose
Cat Party #6 – Katie Haegele, editor
Xerography Debt 50 – David Breier, editor
Planet on Fire: A Manifesto for the Age of Environmental Breakdown -Mathew Lawrence and Laurie Laybourn-Langton
Pieces 11, 14, 15 – Nichole Baiel
Wake: The Hidden History of Women-led Slave Revolts – Rebecca Hall
The Magic Fish – Trung Le Nguyen
Leeking Ink 33, 34, 35 – Davida Breier
We Do This Til We Free Us – Mariame Kaba
Wanderer 7 – Alyssa Giannini
The Thread 15 – Rachel Lee Carman


Home of the Brave – Laurie Anderson
Sisters with Transistors – Lisa Rovner
Monterey Pop and Shake! – D.A. Pennebaker
Festival – Murray Lerner
Word is Out: Stories of Some of Our Lives – Mariposa Film Group
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World
The Celluloid Closet – Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman
Female Trouble – John Waters
Bernice Bobs Her Hair – Joan Macklin Silver
Say Amen, Somebody and No Maps On My Taps – George T. Nierenberg
The French – William Klein
A Day on the Grand Canal with the Emperor of China – Philip Haas
I’ll Remember You as You Were, Not as What You’ll Become – Sky Hopinka
with it which it as it if it is to be Part II – Eve Fowler
Mayor – David Osit
Top Spin – Sara Newens and Mina T. Son
Storme: The Lady of the Jewel Box, Odds and Ends, ..But Then, She’s Betty Carter – Michelle Parkerson
Beyond the Visible: Hilma af Klimt – Halina Dyrschka
Star Trek – JJ Abrams
Drag Race All Stars
Self Portrait – Maria Lassnig
Lil Picard, Art is a Party – Silvianna Goldsmith
Sno-white (Crimson) – Martha Edelheit
Plumb Line – Carolee Schneeman
Depot – Susan Brockman
Circles II – Doris Chase
Wings of Thought – Olga Spiegel
Parallax – Rosalind Schneider
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, and Invention for Destruction – Karel Zeman
The Giverny Document – Ja’tovia Gary
Clockwatchers – Jill Sprecher
The End of Suffering (a proposal) – Jacqueline Ientzou
Wigstock – Barry Shils


Four Meditations for Orchestra – Pauline Oliveros
Echo – Dave Burrell
I Promise Never to get Paint on my Glasses Again – Clouddead
The Doors, Strange Days, Morrison Hotel, Waiting for the Sun, LA Woman – The Doors
Ecstatic Computation – Caterina Barbieri
Rid of Me – PJ Harvey
Challenge for a Civilized Society – Unwound
Emperor Tomato Ketchup – Stereolab
Axes’ and No Shouts No Calls – Electrelane
Walking with Thee – Clinic
so addictive and Under Construction – Missy Elliot
Neu 1 and Neu 2 – Neu!
Psychic Psummer and Neverendless – Cave
ANTI – Rihanna
13 – Lee Hazlewood
Each One, Teach One – Oneida
When I Get Home – Solange
– The Ex
Everything is Beautiful – Princess Nokia
Replicas – Gary Numan
Q Are We Not Men? – Devo
Last Splash – The Breeders
Dub Housing and The Modern Dance – Pere Ubu
Dreamtime – Tom Verlaine
Live in Bergen – Avant Joik
Sznz – Mother Nature and Boathouse
#2 – Conatus
Ex Voto – Djunah

April – May 2021

April 14, 2021

Midnight. The silence of the house. Computer fans. The whir of the refrigerator. The general sound of air moving through enclosed space.

A repeating muscle spasm in my chest.

Thinking of my friend spending tonight in the emergency room. All the comings and goings and noises of a space that never sleeps.

April 27, 2021

Midnight and cool breeze through open windows

(lilac in the air this afternoon)

The temporary novelty of bare skin on sandals

Sitting with the impossibility of comprehending the totality of the full moon

May 2, 2021

Warm air
Wind and onions cooking
Instant time travel
The kitchen in Turrucares
Mincing onions in a processor
And peeling garlic left my fingers sticking together

radio, radio!

Hello, I’ve been doing a radio show for a few weeks now. That’s kind of exciting. It’s an online radio station out of England. You can find that here:


My show is called Flux Capacitor and new shows air every other Saturday night from 10pm-12am Chicago time (UTC-05) with repeats the following Monday from 3-5pm Chicago time (UTC-05).

If you can’t tune in for the initial broadcast, you can find old shows over at mixcloud!


February 8, 2021

Ten mourning doves arrayed on tree branches and the cables connecting our house to the pole in the alley. Heads buried in puffed feather bodies against the cold. Backgrounded by gray sky and white snow roofs.

Febrary 21, 2021

1 am. Longing for an open window and the sound of speeding motorcycles on the highway.

reading watching listening


Wanderer 6 – Alyssa Giannini
Merch Table Funnies – Shana Cleveland
King Cat 80 – John Porcellino
No Scene Zine 3
Paying the Land – Joe Sacco
Behind the Zines 11 – Billy McCall, ed
Tumultuous Times 1 and 2; Eureka! – EC Staniforth
A Conspiracy of Cartographers 2 – Eric J.
I Am A Camera 19 and 20 – Vanessa Berry
Glass Town – Isabel Greenberg
Is This How You See Me? – Jaime Hernandez
Seasonal Shift – Lala Albert
XTC69 – Jessica Campbell
Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief – David Kessler
China Root: Taoism, Ch’an, and Original Zen – David Hinton
Lines and Scenes – Harry Josephine Giles
The Golden Key – Marian Womack
The Mushroom at the End of the World – Anna Lowenhaupt Tsing
Dayglo: The Poly Styrene Story – Celeste Bell and Zoe Howe
Kerbloom 99, 112, and 145 – Artnoose


Appalachian Spring
Style Wars – Tony Silver
Orphan Black
Sanshiro Sugata 1 and 2 – Akira Kurosawa
Fantastic Mr. Fox – Wes Anderson
Forbidden Room – Guy Maddin
Vendetta of a Samurai – Kazuo Mori
When I Get Home – Solange
Russian Doll
Raising Arizona – Coen Brothers
Samurai 1 Musashi Miyamoto – Hiroshi Inagaki
Beautiful Darling – James Rasin
Painters Painting – Emile de Antonio
Chicago Red Stars


EVOL, Dirty, Experimental Jet Set, Trash and No Star, Sonic Nurse, and A Thousand Leaves – Sonic Youth
The Punchline – The Minutemen
Talking Book – Stevie Wonder
Persian Surgery Dervishes – Terry Riley
At The Helm – East New York Ensemble of Music
Karma and Black Unity – Pharoah Sanders
Lost and Found – J Pavone String Ensemble
War Club – DJ Shub
Girl Like Me – Amy Dabbs
Hounds of Love – Kate Bush
NYC Ghosts & Flowers – Sonic Youth
Gaslit – Dvide and Dissolve
Stolen Car – Carl Stone
Labelle – Labelle
Cantus, Descant – Sarah Davachi
Demo – Scissor Girls
Overload – Georgia Anne Muldrow
You’re Dead – Flying Lotus
Stories from the City Stories from the Sea – PJ Harvey
Gyrate – Pylon
Phase One and Kabalaba – Art Ensemble of Chicago
Morricone Segreto – Ennio Morricone
Cheap Trick – Cheap Trick
Low End Theory – A Tribe Called Quest
The Return – Sampa The Great
Triumph! – Steve Colson and the Unity Troupe

reading watching listening


Behind the Zines #9 – Billy McCall, editor
Moonwise – Greer Gilman
Idols Vol 1 2019 ed.: K-POP feat. Leo of VIXX and Tastes Like Home – Allison Catuira
La Hojarasca – Gabriel Garcia Márquez
Mixtape #4 – Molly Growler
El colonel no tiene quien le escribe – Gabriel Garcia Márquez
Viridis Venefica #2 and #3 – Sinoun
Tao Te Ching – David Hinton (translator)
Maids – Katie Skelly
Fire Logic and Earth Logic – Laurie J. Marks
The Body of Work and The Half Men – Kevin Huizenga
Soft Reset – Kaitlin Kostus
Everyone Calls Themselves An Ally Until It Is Time To Do Some Real Ally Shit –
– Sonia Viento
Cul de Sac #8 – Julie Halpern and Liz Mason

Root Hog or Die, A Film About John Porcellino and King-Cat Comix
Lunch On
Star Trek Enterprise
RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars
The Princess Bride
At Home With Amy Sedaris
Star Trek Picard
Star Trek Discovery
Ugly Delicious
Brainiac: Transmissions After Zero
The Muppet Movie
Drag Race Canada

The Mandalorian
The Addams Family

Inside Llewyn Davis
Carnival of Souls

Jane B – Agnes Varda
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Cleopatra Jones
Ornette Coleman Made in America – Shirley Clarke
Guerillere Talks – Vivienne Dick
Imagine the Sound – Ron Mann
Grey Gardens – Maysles
The Ballad of genesis and Lady Jaye
Night Journey – Marie Losier
Born in Flames – Lizzie Borden
The Eagle Shooting Heroes – Jeffrey Lau
Gate of Hell – Teinosuke Kinugasa
The Last Angel of History – John Akomfrah and Edward George
The Changing Same – Cauleen Smith

Coochi3 – Edge Slayer
Middle Ouest – Bergsonist
Grapefruit Regret – Karenn
Nevaeh – MHYSA
Created in the Image of Suffering – King Woman
All The Rooms I Have Been Touched In – Madam Data
Towards the Shadow – Wume
Vous et Nous and Brigitte Fontaine est… – Brigitte Fontaine
Deceipt – This Heat
Automatic Midnight – Hot Snakes
Evil Nigger/Gay Guerilla – Julius Eastman
Instrumentals – Mouse On Mars
Red Lite– Mr. Airplane Man
Kubali – MC Yallah
Everything is Beautiful – Princess Nokia
Under Constructin – Missy Elliot
EVOL – Sonic Youth
Geography – Front 242
Laila’s Wisdom – Rapsody
Iaora Tahiti – Mouse On Mars
A B – Juana Molina
Baden Baden Free Jazz Meeting – Don Cherry
New York Eye and Ear Control – Albert Ayler